16. Plea for Diksha
Suradhuni was upset and she wanted Sri Sri Thakur to take note of it. But her heart and mind were already near Thakur, in the puja. So, when she heard Thakur sending someone for her, she jumped up and stood beside Thakur in the same breath. Everyone was amused. Thakur asked everyone to go out, close the door and wait for some time. Thakur looked at Suradhuni and extended his hand. Suradhuni quipped, “Don’t touch me.” Thakur smiled and lifted her up and asked, “See, I touched you and made you pure. What’s your problem? How will I know if you don’t tell me?” As if Suradhuni was waiting for this question. She immediately replied, “Haven’t you received my letter? Why didn’t you reply? When Braja and Sambhu passed on you had written us a letter and had clearly mentioned that you would attract them all take them to the land of endless joy. There they would be united with you. But you didn’t mention anything about us. Don’t you consider us your own people? You are very partial. You don’t even care about us girls.”
Thakur smirked and replied, “Are you not a part of this family?”
Suradhuni retorted, “All this talk is of no value. When the girls are given away in marriage to another family, we will be outsiders. How will we get near you? So, I have decided I won’t marry. You won’t remember us after we leave this house. Death has become dearer to us. At least we will go to you like Brajabala and Sambhu.” She was upset and hurt and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing as she continued, “In the families of our in laws, they will force us to take diksha from their kulaguru.” Thakur replied, “If they ask you then just follow their order and take diksha from their priest. Don’t fight with them. The place that I hold in your heart can never be taken away by anyone.”
Suradhuni wouldn’t listen, “Then give me diksha now and accept me as your disciple.”
Thakur replied calmly, “I am your diksha. Always take my name and think about my form. You are mine. Your family is also mine. Throw away all these doubts from your mind. I will always remain with you. Pray to me every morning and evening. This is your diksha. Be nice to everyone and bind them with your love. My blessings are always with you. Now go and open the door. Everyone has been waiting outside for so long.”
Everyone was getting worried outside. What conversation had this little girl started that was going on for so long? When Suradhuni opened the door, everyone poured inside the room. But Suradhuni was not satisfied with Thakur’s consolation. She thought to herself that during diksha, everyone gets a mantra that is uttered to the disciples in their ears. They are given a bijamantra that they chant. They are also taught the process of chanting. But Thakur neither gave her any mantra nor taught her the process of chanting. What sort of diksha was that? She had to find out a way to get diksha from Sri Sri Thakur.
One day when Sri Sri Thakur was resting, Suradhuni appeared in front of him in the guise of a Bhairavi, a sadhu with long locks. She knelt down and kept looking up at him. Looking at the way she was dressed, Thakur roared with laughter and asked, “What’s the matter? Why are you in this yogini get-up today?
Suradhuni started singing,
“This new beggar begs with folded palms and won’t go away
Seeks diksha from you oh! Great soul don’t turn her away
The scriptures say that saints and seers
Come down to grant liberation to devotees who are dear
I have come from lands far away
I seek diksha from you don’t turn me away.”
Sri Sri Thakur saw the trident that she was holding in her hand and enquired mockingly, “What are you holding in your hand? What will you do with it?”
“I will poke the eyes of the one who looks at me with evil intention”, came the abrupt reply and with that off she went from that place. A couple of days after that, a strange transformation came over her. While talking about Sri Sri Thakur, she would become unconscious.
One day, Thakur was sitting in his chair and Malati was helping him comb his locks. Suradhuni sat infront of him, listening to his advice. At that moment their grandmother came in, offered her obeisances to Sri Sri Thakur and pleaded with folded hands, “O Thakur! Look at this girl. I am so worried for her. She will soon get married. If she behaves like this in her in-laws place, then who will take care of her? Please do something and make her get well.” Sri Sri Thakur listened to the grandmother and his gaze shifted to Suradhuni. He called Suradhuni to come near him and said, “Show me your hand. I will give you something but you have to eat it in that instant.” Then he pulled her hand, took something out from his mouth and gave it to her saying, “Now eat it. Don’t show it to anyone.” After that incident, Suradhuni was completely cured.
…to be continued
Inspired by Krushnapriya Mohanty’s essay, “Deeghalkandi Parivar.”